Thursday, March 3, 2011


I realize that my pregnancy will be news to some. The reality is we just weren't pregnant long enough to share our news with everyone. I would have been 7 weeks today. I called the doctor Monday because I was bleeding. Went in for blood work to check my HCG levels. Felt hopeful at that point. Tuesday brought more bleeding, but lab results came back positive. Despite the results, I'm beginning to doubt. That night I was in pain. Woke up about 3:30 and knew I was bleeding heavily. Up for about 30 minutes. Called the doctor's office the next morning and had an appointment that afternoon.

Thoughts on miscarriages:
They are painful.
They are more common than you'd think. About 20-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. That fact is not comforting. Frankly right now I wish it was the most unique oddity know to man. That my very personal pain would not be so easily equated to your cousin, friend from high school or you. That my situation would be special and my trauma
They are not quick. It's a process. What happens at home may not be it. You think it was bad enough, but it's not always over. I spent almost 3 hours at the doctor's office waiting for confirmation of what my heart already knew. Then they tell my body didn't take care of everything.
They are expensive. It costs more to not have a baby than to have one. Insult to injury.
They don't stop the world. I went to work Wednesday and today. (blogging break. Carsyn is naked in her bed. World doesn't stop.)

Tony has been so sweet. He is being strong for me and I need it. I've pretty much have been teetering on the edge for 3 days and he's holding on so I don't crash.

More reality. I'm not done. Technically I'm in the middle of a miscarriage. I go to the hospital in the morning for an out patient procedure. So I reserve the right to add or change my thought on miscarriages tomorrow. After my miscarriage is over.

Happy note...getting highlights in my hair on Sunday night.


  1. Crystal! I am so sorry to hear about your loss! Know that we will be thinking and praying for you and Tony. Love you girl.

  2. I feel so sad for you. I'm so sorry! You are in my prayers. Let me know if I can help in any way.

  3. Oh Crystal, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and Tony. You are in my prayers.

  4. Crystal you are so brave and honest. Thank you for sharing your heart with us all. I love you. You know I am praying always for you guys.

  5. So sorry Crystal. I don't understand miscarriage. I don't understand such a blessing of hope just to be snatched away. I do understand that we serve a God that will wrap his arms around your family and sustain you through this hard time. That's been my prayer for Tony and you (and little naked Carsyn too!) =) Love both of you!

  6. Hugs Crystal. I know how difficult this time can be. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

  7. Love you Crystal! and praying for you. Julie F